It can be a major advantage to seek the advice of someone else, to help you improve your ability to accept, hear, see and understand your own and your partner’s signals and needs, and in this way strengthen a respectful and loving communication.
Conflicts, misunderstandings, absence and longing can suddenly dominate, and it can be difficult to find the way back to each other without help. But if you firmly decide to improve your relationship, it is possible to recover the balance between you and nurture each other’s needs. Communication can be painful if you find yourself in that typical blind alley of making the other person wrong, insisting on being the same, or criticizing instead of recognizing the other and listening empathically and supportively.
Human strategies for self-protection seen from the point of view of attachment can be very different, and therefore it is important to investigate how we misunderstand each other’s words, needs and unconscious signals, and how we best can reassure each other. Conflicts in relationships are often due to attachment styles. Security can be re-established by understanding what the other person is trying to communicate, and recognizing their needs.